Friday, June 5, 2009


Often when I am combing out mom's hair, I'll float out the idea of a hair cut. Would she be open to it? Usually, she says no. I don't push the issue. Last Wednesday, when I was combing her out and her hair had become particularly knotty, she brought it up. She said sometime. Maybe not today, but sometime. Then she said that she wanted it to be her decision. Now, I'd never cut Dolly's hair without her permission. But the fact that she voiced that she might be open to it, but that it would have to be her decision, said volumes to me. It told me that her hair is one fragile but tangible connector to the person she was before the stroke. It told me that she suddenly has very few choices she can make for herself, and this is one that she would be holding onto with a sense of purpose until the time comes that she is comfortable to change her own mind about it for her own reasons. Why she didn't want to cut her hair right now, and why it needs to be her own decision if or when it happens, suddenly made all the sense in the world to me.

I went over mom's newly purchased clothing items with her today. When we got to the sneakers, I told her I got two pairs and she could choose which she liked. She said she didn't need a choice,but her eyes told a different story. I could tell that she had gratitude for being given the decision to make.


  1. beautiful post. just beautiful.

  2. Glad to see that your Mom has gotten out of bed and started her therapy. Way to Go!