Thursday, June 18, 2009

One month after the stroke.

Yesterday was not a good day. I should say that yesterday was not a good night, since I got there too late to see any good stuff.

After yesterday, I have realized that I need to relax and not get overly excited or terribly down about any phase of Mom’s improvement or lack thereof. The highs have been great, but the lows that ultimately follow are just so painful. I have to train myself to be inwardly indifferent or else I will surely lose my mind. Outwardly, I am proud of her accomplishments, and I root her on just like she won the lottery, but I am learning that I must not blow that bubble up too full because it will burst.

My visit today started with the second half of Dolly’s OT with Jeff. I watched her struggle with getting a shirt off from over her head. She never quite made it. Seeing her like that for several minutes was a little bizarre. I secretly wanted to jump over and help her, even though I am always telling her that she can do things on her own. She did well getting back into her wheelchair with Jeff’s help. She even positioned herself farther back into the seat with some words of encouragement.

When we returned to her room, she stayed up in the wheelchair for a little while, then got put in her bed for the removal of her G-tube. Oh happy day! No more tummy tube! The nurses and the doctor all said that she barely even winced at the removal, only yelled “Owww” and it was over. Her puncture site did not leak after she ate dinner, and there was no bleeding. Yay. Some good news.

After the G-tube removal and dinner, Dolly got back into a wheelchair. Kathy and I took her downstairs to get a cup of tea and outside for some sunshine and fresh air. She didn’t last too long out there. We walked Kathy to the skateboarders section of the walkway, and sat there for a little while before Kathy walked herself to the subway station. It was a beautiful sunny day today. First one in quite some time, but the sun was low in the sky over the Charles at this point, and we forgot to bring her hat and sunglasses, Mom and I only stayed outside for about another 15 minutes.

Dolly got confused tonight as Souhila tried to ‘dance’ her back into bed. She couldn’t remember how to stand. I quickly realized that Souhila was having trouble getting Dolls to use her left leg to support herself as she was trying to help her into bed . I have seen this ‘dance’ many times, but this time, Mom forgot how. Souhila and I both vocally coached mom, while Souhila hung onto her for dear life, but she didn’t understand. I asked her to use her left foot and press it on the floor as hard as she could, which is the usual way I root for her, but she would lift her foot off the floor instead. These types of ‘moments’, I have been noticing more and more since she has been making other improvements.

I worry about her desire to become independant, but I also keep in my mind that she had a massive brain injury, and her wires aren't firing right just yet.

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