Monday, June 1, 2009

One thing I've learned in the past couple weeks is the experience of living moment by moment. We've all heard about "living in the moment". It's been a total catch-phrase this decade, thanks to Oprah. But honestly I have never experienced it at this level and at this intensity and for this length of time. It is a scary thing to do. You are accepting what happens and appreciating things as they come, accepting that you cannot control everything, having blind faith and allowing yourself to be still and concentrate on one thing -- or one person, as the case may be. This is not exactly how I typically live my day- to- day life, but strangely it has kicked in like a biological reflex. As harrowing as this experience has been in so many ways, I am appreciating each moment I encounter in a whole new way.

Ever since the stroke, every new challenge Dolly has been meeting brings about another new, next-in-the-roster big challenge to meet, a challenge which is just as important to meet as the one right before it. We have not yet hit the point of Dolly having the "option" of meeting and succeeding at a challenge she is faced with. It's been life or death situations all the way.

I'm glad that I've discovered that I have the capacity to show up for this-- the most challenging experience I have ever had- and to absorb, reflect and learn from each individual moment. It is a way to therapeutically take something valuable from the experience as a whole, a way to move forward with Dolly and our family, and last but not least, it's a way to appreciate and honor Dolly for who she was yesterday, for who she is today, and for who she may become, or will become, tomorrow.

2 comments:

  1. I'm living in the moment right there with you. It's a wild ride.

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  2. This is so beautifully expressed and moving, Kathy. It's such a gift that you can share what you're going through in this way. I send you all lots of prayers and healing thoughts.

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