Thursday, June 4, 2009


Called Spaulding twice tonight. First time to check in and see how she's doing, second time because I remembered that she needs to wear those leg compressor balloon thingies for patients at risk of leg clots, and she didn't have them on when we left today. They have to order them, so she won't have them til tomorrow. Another thing to worry about. I'm driving myself crazy with worry. I'm worried about her pacemaker healing properly. I'm terrified some nurse or assistant will raise her right arm unknowingly. I want to put a big sign on the wall above her bed: "PACEMAKER HEALING -DO NOT LIFT RIGHT ARM" but I imagine that might come off as insulting to the staff (understandably so). I worry that Dolly doesn't get help as soon as she needs it when she has to 'go to the bathroom'. Then I worry that they might miss a spot when they are cleaning her up. I worry about the little things she's being treated for - things that for a normal healthy person aren't more than a nuisance, but for mom can become chronic nagging problems and, at worst can become serious, life-threatening complications. I know, I know. Seemingly irrational worries. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. And, now that she is at Spaulding, I worry that Dolly won't be able to perform the required three hours of rehab a day. I hope and I pray she will. I believe she has the will to, the strength of mind to. I just worry about the possibility of her body not being able to do what her mind asks it to.


  1. You are not alone. Big hugs to you (((((Kathy))))). These worries keep me up at night.

  2. Thank you both for being there so much. I wish I were able to be, too. xoxoxox

  3. My mom was in intensive care 8 hours away; nearly died, and,yes, failed the 3-hr-minimum for rehab. The worries are there until you are out of the woods. It will be a while. If you'll feel better putting up a sign, do it! The nurses will know you care. Practice breathing. Buy "Living the Full Catastrophe." Your mom is in a good place, and she has you - that means so much.

  4. Kathy, I'm sure if you design the sign in your signature whimsical style, you won't offend anybody, you'll probably brighten their day....

    And if it does irk the staff, who the f cares... what matters most is helping your mom feel and heal better, and you and your sisters' peace of mind. Whatever you do to meet those ends is the priority. Any nurse will recognize that. You're a kind, respectful person; I'm sure they've encountered family members far more challenging.

    Hang in there, Kathy! Know that you have a lot of folks here sending positive vibes your (and Dolly's) way!

  5. Kathy, I'm with the others on the sign. Absolutely do it. The more you let her caregivers hear the "I want my mother to live" messages, the better.

    Your mom is very fortunate to have her three girls and other family and friends who are shouldering the worry for her.

    My best prayers and hopes to you all!